Judith Adler
— My heart beats fast, then faster
I am in love
with Ludwig
for the first time really
after a lifetime of playing piano
I love the rhythms as they push against each other
quarter notes against eighths
trills against triplets,
forte, then double forte
the thrill of the pushes and pulls,
the turns from bright to pianissimo
and then the abrupt stop
as the pain shoots down my right index finger
then to my left hand
hot to touch, inflamed with pain
My love for you is quieted
I cannot play
for days.
Beethoven, how could you treat me this way
just as I was yearning for you?
Like flowers that fall,
then spring back a few months later,
I know we will find each other again
on the ivories.